With Ohio elections coming up, Ads for x, y, and z political candidates are jump scares around every corner.
Oozing with claims, dripping with dreadful details, these ads are just as likely to scare you as to inform you. The commercials roll, and all of a sudden, the room gets darker in my estimation, and our future with it. The air begins to thin; my breath quickens. This election is squeezing the life out of me!
But then…
The commercials end. The curtain of dread rises, and the lights go up. Whatever disgusting, heinous plotting the democrats have done can’t hurt me now! I have Owl House to watch! Not only have I completely forgotten about the ads, but by the time the second round comes along, I’m even more surprised by their contents.
Carefree and smiling, the corners of my mouth plummet, just like the economy that J B shot in the face during his 50 years of service. Amy A might as well quit before the agents of hell crawl up and drag her back to the Plutonian shore by her ankles. She has literally eaten 5 political opponents with her bare hands, belched, and she didn’t even say “excuse me.” Licked their bones clean!! Very rude, bad woman.
All these wild claims (many of which cannot possibly be true) have me thinking. More precisely, they have me thinking about how they make me feel. And watching these commercials makes me feel darn rotten! They are confusing! Often, I’m unfamiliar with the candidate, what office they are running for, or the party affiliation of the shady super PAC that commissioned the commercial. They are salacious! “He said what!!”
But most importantly, many of the claims in these ads are out right lies. Now, not all campaign ads are lies, and politicians throughout the ages have proven themselves complicit in every crime, sin, and moral mistake imaginable. And I will be the first to say that some groups are more inclined to create a doomsday fantasy than others. You can spot these ads by listening to the pit of your stomach.
We could even assign numbers, a gastrointestinal Richter scale of sorts. An ad that puts you off your popcorn may be a magnitude 3.4 and could have “misleading context” and “vague claims,” but also demonstrably true-facts. Watch an ad that makes you want to lose your lunch completely, and you have a magnitude 9 information emergency, guaranteed straight from someone’s imagination.
When I see a magnitude 9 ad, I always think it says a lot about the people who made it. Where do they get this drama gold?? I already know. They are good at making this stuff up off the top of their heads because it already weighs heavily on their conscience. It’s not Amy A. who’s a drunk, weak lil’ baby. They think about this stuff, and now we have to.
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